Tuesday, July 30, 2013


Tristan and Becca
My youngest child and only son turns 22 today. I was his age when I found out I was pregnant with him and I'm relieved to know he didn't follow in my footsteps. 

Dear Tristan, 

Last year you reached the official legal drinking age and started your first adult relationship with Becca. I know it didn't seem like it but I observed you closely. 

I was proud to see you grow into a man and learn what it meant to put someone else's needs before your own. It was beautiful to watch you seeking after God's own heart because without putting him first you wouldn't be the man Becca needed you to be. 

I knew you two would face conflicts in your relationship but out of the mess I've made of mine I've learned that a couple who navigates through them successfully will strengthen their relationship. It's evident that you're learning from your mistakes, making sure they don't happen again. 

It's about self-awareness and having the ability to accept your flaws when looking in the mirror. Recently, I told you to be a man and act like one. It didn't dawn on me until later that a mother couldn't tell her son to be a man if he didn't have a positive male role model as an example. 

I can only tell you that a woman wants to be heard and to know that her man is listening not only to her voice but her heart. You should know that being an independent man who can function outside of the relationship is evidence of a strong man's character. 

Continue cultivating your intimacy with Christ because it will sustain you not only in your life but in all of your relationships. I know I'm not alone when I say that your maturity and growth in the last year have been admirable. 

Remember to forgive yourself always and to allow room for mistakes. It's when we don't learn from them that stunts our growth. 

I'm looking forward to what your 22nd year will bring but I hope you can remind yourself that a life without adversity is one that easily stagnates. Embrace the new challenges that come your way, be grateful for everything, and derive strength from the wisdom you learn in faith. 

Happy 22nd birthday, Trey!