Thursday, July 19, 2012


PhotobucketIt's my boyfriend's birthday and I'm continuing my tradition in writing birthday sentiments for my kids/grandkid and Ray on my blog. This tradition began a few years ago after I came from a funeral and realized we should pay homage to our loved ones while they're alive to appreciate it. 

I christened him the Beast Whisperer because it best describes the manner in which he handles me at my worst. I won't fake the funk, I'm not an easy person to do life with. I'm female and hormonal. When things spiral beyond my control I transform into a frothing, snarly, vicious beast. Think of Jacob's werewolf metamorphosis in the movie Twilight. Yup, that's me. When I'm at the height of my beastly incarnation Ray will calmly ask a few questions that successfully retracts my fangs and claws. 

How long have I known you? 
Umm, almost 30 years. 
And how long have we been together? 
Almost 4 years. 
Add those years up and tell me I don't know you, or understand you, or get it, woman? 

By the time Ray's brief interrogation ends I'm back to my serene self. Okay, that's stretching because I'm never serene but definitely far from the chupacabra that showed itself.  I've put him through some hellacious times in the past 4 years and his will to remain in our relationship baffles me. This birthday blog is also an acknowledgment of his desire to work things out despite the hardships and isn't lost upon me. Most of you probably think it's easier to articulate these sentiments in person but Ray would be the first to say that I don't express myself well vocally as I do in writing. Especially when emotions are involved. 

Ray was the first (and better be the last) DJ who imposed on me a yearlong ban from his gigs until I learned to control myself. 

He gives me space, plenty of it, without smothering and suffocating me. 

He understands that I feel alive dancing in front of the DJ and having me sit behind one is like putting me in time out. 


He has a big heart but his intentions are sometimes misconstrued. 

Ray taught me that there is no "i" in the word team and being in a healthy, committed, and trustworthy relationship is possible. 

From Ray I discovered the simple art of apologizing. To simply say "I'm sorry" and mean it. For me, an apology equated with a weakness in character.  

PhotobucketDespite his stressful life as a full-time caregiver to his terminally ill mother, he never fails to alleviate the doldrums with laughter. 


His thirst for adventure and exploration rivals mine and I'm grateful to have my Sam Gamgee beside me.

He's the first and only man whom I accept and have no desire to change. Nor do I care to manipulate him to fit my mold.  

Ray is the everything. Some people are awarded a fairy tale but I'm blessed to have the real deal. The person who finds me worthy to love through the craziness. 

PhotobucketDear Ray aka DJ Curse aka The Beast Whisperer, 

I wish you another wondrous year to wreak havoc on this Earth and in all the lives you've touched. I appreciate all you do and what you've taught me. 

Happy Life Day!