Monday, April 11, 2011

My Unbirthday

Last month was my 43rd birthday. Yup, I said it. My 43rd. I'm not one of those females who hide my age or lie about it. It has been quite a journey to get here and faking the funk would diminish the adventure. The road to 43 hasn't been easy and I never chose the conventional one. It was fraught with mind numbing obstacles, hair-raising surprises, and unwise decisions. Yet, along the way I encountered love, faith, and hope. It sounds completely trite but I tend to wax poetic and I'm trying to keep this blog post short so trite it will be. 

Much to my family's and boyfriend's dismay I tend to retreat on my birthday-physically, emotionally, and mentally. I refuse to partake in a huge celebration, won't agree to any parties, and end up spoiling plans to surprise me. This year was no different, in fact, I think it was even worse. The reason for my despondency comprised many things but I couldn't fathom celebrating my birthday when I just watched the devastation in Japan a week prior. And how could I foist MY beliefs onto my boyfriend, sister, kids, and grandkid when their only desire is to celebrate me because they love me? I'm humbly grateful after this past birthday fiasco I still have a boyfriend, sister, kids, and grandkid. I think if you looked up the meaning of "unconditional love" in the dictionary you'd see a group picture of the people God has blessed me with. A huge fist pump to my daughter Chloe who really tried her best to rally everyone together to surprise me. 

On my 43rd year, I vow to embrace every gray hair that suddenly says "hello!", welcome every wrinkle with a gentle dab of my heavy-duty anti-aging cream, accept every ache, creak, tweak, twinge, and spasm of my bones and/or muscles, flow through the changes that transforms my body daily, fill my brain space with an abundance of positive thoughts, cultivate my inner peace with deep breaths, and seek God faithfully and deeply. 

Ray whipped up the video below as a birthday surprise. It's been 2 and 1/2 years of nonstop craziness and madness with a whole lotta lovin' me through my mess.

Music by Au Revoir Simone "Sad Song" 
Play me a sad song because 
That's what I want to hear. 
I want you to make me cry. 
I want to remember the places that we left, 
Lost to the mists of time.

I know that you'll go soon. 
You'll find out so take me with you always.

On buses that move through the night
We sleep on and on. 
We got off at Memphis, black-top heat will make us thirsty. 
We'll never get sick anymore.